You hear the sadness when I speak
Nothing has ever felt the same
As long ago, before your betrayal
When I'd hear you speak my name

I've saved you from your darkened pit
Surrounded you with light
But to do that sucked my joy away
The balance isn't right

I've made a promise, took my vow
But what good is it all
Is this really all you want
Pretend there's not a wall?

You know I'll put on my best act
If you ask, then I'll deny
That I could be less than happy
And I would ever say good-bye

I've given in, I've given up
This is what it is
If being there to make you live
Is all the life there is

You pack your bags for an adventure
Everything is new and clean
You feel the excitement flow through you
The heightened senses of sight and sound

You step out into the unknown
With only a wonder of the of it
Only holding on to sideways thots
And a heart full of kindness and naivete

Others notice and smile your direction
They encircle you, accept who you are
This feels like a good place to dance
To share your happiness and sorrows

Then, the shadow starts to creep
Spreading darkness and muck
You think you are safe and out of sight
But it finds you and follows

It is unrelenting in its advance
It pulls you in and chews you up
You have tried so hard to stay out of its way
You've tried to shed some light

It is evil and twisted and hateful
You can't understand why you
You were just here, being yourself
No ill will, no hatred, no spells

But it holds out a monster and call it you
Thrashing your name and spewing acid
Some stop and listen and begin to believe
You make the mistake of fighting back

You knew it was fuel for the blackness
It feeds on anger and fear
You only helped it to grow
You only helped it to swallow you whole

Just a ring, just a voice
At the other end of the phone
Still she feels so alone

Just a dream, just a choice
Picking up and moving forward
To live of her own accord

Step ahead, Don't look back
Her empty arms begin to ache
Her future is at stake

Step around, don't unpack
Finding a new life and place
And some breathing space

Walking through the dark rooms
I feel an icy chill descending
Piled in the farthest corner--
All the hopes for happy endings

No matter how many times I try
There's too many pieces gone
The puzzle can't be finished
Still I struggle until dawn

Sleepless nights...they haunt me
Mocking me with laughter
There's no more turns to take
No happily ever after

I guess I've always known it
Just never could face defeat
But now I look it in the eye
And its victory I greet

There are no more excuses
I just need to move along
Step through the open door
Into the room where I belong

Learning to breathe and let it ALL go...
Taking the time to relax...taking the time to laugh...
Tilting my head and seeing it all sideways...
Making it look like a Picasso painting...
The giggles rise from underneath...
They stare and mumble at you...
Say you are so miserably irreverant...
But why should you care if they THINK it's wrong...
It gets you through your life...
You can giggle from one end of the day to the other...
You feel the anxiety start to rise...
Take your deep breath and realize...
This is YOUR life and they can't tell you..
If it isn't interfering in their ability to function...
Then you can ignore them and turn away....
You know who you are and what you do...
If they can't 'get' you why should it matter....
Life on this earth will soon be over...
And the words they mutter will not be heard...
Heaven has its own language and that's not it...